C O N T E N T S
WIZARDING CRIMES
ECONOMY
REGIONALS
INTERNATIONAL
POLITICS
SPORTS SECTION
HEX REPORT
ASK US!
STARBURST
AUNT EDNA'S
IN THE KITCHEN
ON THE STREETS
DAILY PROPHET STAFF
DAILY PROPHET'S OFFICIAL ARCHIVES

WIZARDING CRIMES :
THE CURIOUS INCIDENT OF THE CATS WITH THUMBS
By Snowleetah

MARCH 2017, ENGLAND - I'm sure we can agree, dear readers, that we've all wondered how the world would be different if our pets had thumbs. What would it be like if our dogs rose up one day and fed themselves? How would we feel if our cats bounded onto our broomsticks and soared off into the night? Is it possible that one day our owls could be penning letters on our behalf?

For wizards Zacharias Purvis and Winfred Stump, it appears that simply pondering these questions was not enough. Last month following an anonymous tip-off officers from both the Auror Office and the Improper Use of Magic Office teamed up to perform a raid on the homes of these wanted men. At the time of the raids, Mr. Purvis was out of the house, while Mr. Stump was not so lucky. It is believed that he was arrested in the shower, and subsequently marched outside in just a towel.

Inside of both houses, the Ministry of Magic employees were reportedly stunned at the sights that greeted them. A total of three-hundred-and-nineteen cats, of all shapes, sizes, and colours, were found roaming freely around the premises but that's not all. Supposedly, several of the cats were seated at desks, writing with quills, and sighing quietly as they proofread their work. Others were performing basic household chores, such as cleaning the wireless, cooking the food, and staring avidly at the fish bowl.

Our eager reporters - first on the scene, as ever - set about trying to organise an interview with one finicky feline, who was desperately trying to de-gnome the garden. However, after receiving several dirty looks from both cats and gnomes alike, our reporters decided to make a hasty retreat.

Upon arrival at the Ministry of Magic, Mr. Purvis and Mr. Stump were questioned about the motives behind their highly unusual and astonishing actions. Mr. Stump refused to comment, as he was too busy trying to hold his towel in place; Mr. Purvis, however, told his interviewers that he had "always wanted to surround himself with animals, but that it is too much of a bother to keep the house tidy without their help."

Every one of the three-hundred-and-nineteen cats was handed over to the Committee on Experimental Charms, and following a considerable number of late nights and some very clever spell-work by the task force, all thumbs have been safely removed. Currently, the Ministry of Magic is looking to re-home all the cats within the month. This deadline seems likely to be extended, though, as it has been reported that the entire Committee has become smitten with these cuddly kittens.

If any of you are searching for a feline friend of your own (without opposable thumbs, thankfully), then the Pet Emporium in Diagon Alley is presently searching for new homes for over three-hundred adorable cats. We're sure you'd be able to find your ideal pet if you headed on over there today!

The Ministry of Magic would like to remind you of this: while they are aware that March 3rd was "If Pets Had Thumbs Day," it does not make it acceptable to experiment with charms or transfiguration of any kind on any animal. If in doubt, remember the golden rule: if you wouldn't cast it on your grandmother, then you shouldn't cast it on anybody else.

ECONOMY : CAULDRON PRICE HIKE?
By Char

You've heard it right, dear readers. We find ourselves in a dire situation, once more, as the prices of cauldrons have increased immensely. Of course, in a situation like this, one would wonder how it has even gotten this far. Those of us who want to properly buy our cauldrons are once again at a standstill, hoping and praying to Merlin that the regular prices of cauldrons will return. Or that the increase won't be THAT steep.

Unfortunately, this is not the case. I went to the Department of International Magical Cooperation (DIMC) the other day to investigate and ask about this occurrence. Apparently, the increase is caused by ongoing problems from the last shipment of cauldrons. During the last shipment, a supplier failed to meet the Ministry's regulated cauldron thickness requirements.

The top cauldron supplier, Cauldron and Co., can be found outside of Britain. They firmly believe that the new thickness they put in their cauldrons allows for a more even heating of the contents in the cauldron. However, no matter how many times a representative went to the company to explain and emphasise the importance of this rule, the company refused to follow it. They felt that their thickness would be the "dawn of cauldron selling," and that it would be "unfair to prevent us from selling and making a profit out of this."

The issue escalated so much that Ludwig Williams, the Chairperson of the DIMC, had even personally gone to their office (a very secret location, mind you) to negotiate cauldron matters. Still not willing to change their cauldron thickness, Mr. Williams came back to Britain, defeated. The Ministry then had to hire potion masters to review the claims made by the company.

Meanwhile, because of the problem at hand, there is a severe shortage of cauldrons due to the infrequency of shipment from the other cauldron companies. It doesn't help that there is an increase in potion-making at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, thus causing more cauldrons to be needed. As such, to make up for the slower supply and increasing demand, the price of cauldrons increased 145% across all retailers in Britain.

Now, with how outrageous these prices are, it isn't a surprise that some witches and wizards are now going to nearby countries to find lower-priced cauldrons. Yes, some of these aren't Ministry-regulated, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Some have even bought the newest cauldrons from Cauldron and Co. themselves and have given positive reviews about their latest product.

The question remains, though -- will the Ministry continue to impose the strict cauldron thickness regulation? Will this strict rule continue to be the cause for more price hikes? Will Cauldron and Co. ever return to the old cauldron thickness requirement?

The details of all of this are still blurry at the moment, but for now, the Ministry has not changed their mind regarding their cauldron thickness regulation. They're still pursuing the idea that the price hike of cauldrons would help supply cauldrons everywhere, but you never know when they finally realise what's going wrong! In the meantime, feel free to find other non-Ministry-regulated cauldrons, because I'm sure there are those you can find at a cheaper price!

The risk, of course, is on you, though. And as every cauldron company owner always says, "No returns, no exchanges. Once you break it, you can't replace it!"

REGIONALS :
SALMONS VS. KELPIE: WHO WILL WIN?
By Desiree Snow

Salmons here, salmons there, salmons everywhere!

It would appear as the Scottish sea lochs are now filled with salmon farms. They are occupying a great deal of space and are polluting the waters due to the sea lice treatment chemical residues.

The SSPO (Scottish Salmon Producers' Organisation) is contesting the validity of these claims. They believe that these are just some black propaganda or false issues being made by the S&TA (Salmon & Trout Association). The SSPO believe that these claims were made in order to undermine their business and make it harder for them to compete in the local and foreign markets.

While the Muggle associations quibble amongst themselves as to whether or not these reports are credible, the Department of Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures is scrambling to find a way to protect the kelpie that currently resides in Scotland. Nessie, as the kelpie is more commonly called, is the world's largest Kelpie. Given its powers, a Kelpie can take on any form, but Nessie favours being a sea serpent.

The Office of Misinformation is struggling to preserve the identity and security of Nessie. Now that the salmon farms are expanding, they are taking on more and more space which leaves little room for this large Kelpie to hide. Their office has appealed to the Ministry to consider moving Nessie to a different location. This appeal was quickly rejected as there is no other place which would be large enough to hold this creature. One wizard, who lives in a town near Nessie's loch, said, "Take Nessie out? Why that's absurd! It wouldn't be Loch Ness without the Loch Ness Monster!"

Aside from keeping Nessie's identity safe, the Ministry is also looking into the health risks that may be posed by the pollutants and chemicals in Loch Ness. Ministry officials have assigned experienced Magizoologists to monitor Nessie's state.

And as for all the salmon? It would appear as though the wizarding community has found a way to make use of all the dead fish. The dead salmon are all harvested and stored. They are then used as one of the main dishes served at deathday parties. For those who are unsure of what deathday parties are, these are similar to a birthday party. But in this case, the ghost is celebrating the day of their death. Dead salmon, having a very strong scent, is one of the types of food that ghosts can still "taste."

So, who really won? Salmon or Kelpie? In this reporter's view, it would be the ghosts who won in this one.

INTERNATIONAL :
NOCHE DE BRUJAS - NIGHT OF THE WITCHES
By Seza Silverwolf

On the first Friday in March, shamans, witches and healers from all over Mexico gather together in what is considered the spiritual home of witches the Mexican town of Catemaco.

Situated on the shore of Laguna Catemaco, this town is said to be the centre of Mexico's witchcraft and witch-doctor industry, as far as the Muggles are concerned. The witchcraft and shamanism of Mexico mix ancient indigenous beliefs, Spanish medieval traditions and Voodoo practices from West Africa. It started in 1970 when a local bruja (shaman) decided to host a witchcraft convention. So now every year, they come together to perform a mass cleansing to rid of the previous year's negative energies.

At the witching hour on Cerro Mono Blanco, this ceremony takes place on a little hill just outside of town. A stage also includes song and dance performances to cleanse those negative energies. I have never been present for one but was able to find a witch near home who had. She described it as an "amazing experience." "It was like all the bad things that happened to me in the last year just lifted off my shoulders," the witch said. "They're still there, but I feel less burdened by them." I wonder how it felt for the Muggle tourists.

Yes, this celebration is a tourist attraction for both magic folk and Muggles alike. There are two sides to every coin, as such, there are two sides to this celebration; what the Muggles see and what the Muggles don't see. Although mostly for the local witches, shamans and witch-doctors, this wonderful event also brings forth many witches and wizards who like to be somewhere where they can feel less burdened by the secrecy. They don't go around to every Muggle saying they're a wizard or witch, but they can at least move freely without worry of scrutiny by Muggles who think they look just that a little suspicious.

Of course, various disillusionment charms around the place mean that certain things are hidden from the Muggles. One can't be too cautious, which is why all wizarding folk are asked to be careful about what magic they use; the Muggles do bring cameras, and a photo going around of a witch performing magic is the last thing the wizarding world needs. The tourism has grown as people seek the shamanic consultations that are offered, along with food, drink, and a chance to have a good time. There are stalls selling various amulets, such as lucky charms, as well as various shaman tents for seeking all manner of practices.

For 100 pesos you can get a lampia (cleansing) for yourself or even a friend. You can also get a tarot reading. It is said that the hours after the completion of the ceremony are when the shamans are at their most powerful and this is the best time if you're looking for a spell or shamanic favour. The witch I spoke with earlier said: "I definitely felt something afterwards, though, for obvious reasons, I didn't do any magic, but there was definitely something different in the air."

The Muggle buses are apparently irregular, so if you plan on taking the Muggle way, plan ahead. However, there are various locations around the town that have been charmed to make sure Muggles won't notice a witch or wizard suddenly Apparating in, so you can still take the easy way. It focuses mostly on shamanism, witch-doctoring and Muggle concepts of witchcraft, but I hear it's still great fun that most magic folk to get a kick out of so if you ever get a chance next year, it's worth a look.

POLITICS : PROMOTIONS AT THE MINISTRY
By Cassandra Lovegood

It seems that luck has spread all the way to our very own Ministry of Magic lately, with a rash of new promotions! (Excuse the metaphor, it sounded much better before it was on paper.) Along with that, Miss Emma Grant has proposed a new bill at the Wizengamot that looks to have a wonderful chance of passing! (More on that below.)

Mr. Kyle Tronwood, formerly the Assistant Head Auror, has officially been promoted to Head Auror! Tronwood is a veteran of the Wizarding War and is credited with over forty arrests. He has been a faithful Ministry employee for over sixteen years.

Miss Lily Patterson was officially promoted to Head of the Misuse of Magical Artifacts Office after her predecessor announced his retirement. A Muggleborn, Patterson was heard saying excitedly about her new position, "Oh, this is so wonderful! Mum will be ecstatic! So, will Dad, but he doesn't quite understand what it means."

Miss Jessica Wild, the former Head Auror, has announced that she will be moving departments to work in the Department of Mysteries as an Unspeakable. Unsurprisingly, when asked about what her new position would entail, she declined to comment.

While there have been other promotions, these are the most notable three for this month. We here at the Daily Prophet give our best to those who have been promoted and can't wait to see what they'll accomplish next!

However, there is more exciting news than just promotions. Miss Emma Grant has proposed a new bill at the Wizengamot. Known for her stubborn and fierce pursuit of wizarding civil rights, she has turned heads for her vocal agreement and participation in protests. While most of her actions have proved controversial, most agree that the "Orphan Witch and Wizards," or OWW, the bill will likely be passed.

Most witches and wizards now know that Tom Riddle's first taste of power and fear came from living in the Muggle orphanage, Wool's Orphanage. While being placed with a wizarding family would have doubtfully curbed his dark desires, it raised many questions among orphaned witches and wizards who may not know of their heritage.

Therefore, Grant has drafted and proposed the OWW bill that would take orphaned witches and wizards and place them in a new system in the wizarding world. Orphanages would be catered for these children, along with Squibs. They are also offering the chance for wizard and witches to foster and adopt these children.

So far, the bill has been met with much praise. Notable figures, such as Hermione Granger, Harry Potter, the Weasley family, Neville Longbottom, Luna Lovegood, and other famous witches and wizards have all expressed agreement with the bill.

However, there is still the difficulty with Muggleborn children or magical children placed into the system before wizards or witches can take them. Currently, there is almost no way to find a Muggleborn child before their Hogwarts letter arrives.

This has not deterred Miss Emma Grant, however, as she presses forward with the bill. It goes to vote on May 26th of this year, giving Grant and her team time to smooth out any wrinkles and make sure everything goes as planned. We can't wait to see how it all turns out. See you next month, readers!

SPORTS : QUIDDITCH IN SPRING
By GinnyQuaffle1

Hello there! This is GinnyQuaffle1 reporting to you about the famous Holyhead Harpies, the distinguished all-female Quidditch team from Wales. The team was established in 1203 and has continued to take the world by storm.

I was unable to get an interview with former captain and manager Gwenog Jones, but a little digging and a few helpful teammates enabled me to uncover some interesting facts on one of the greatest Quidditch players in the world, either male and female. Jones' personality was, at its best, "rough and tough," as former teammate Valmai Morgan put it. Always ready to pick a fight, Gwenog once threatened to curse an opponent's face off. However, Jones, while rough on the court, is always willing to lend a helping hand to a friend in need. When her fellow teammate Wilda Griffith's mother died, Jones stopped the game against their fierce rival, Puddlemere United, for a moment of silence to commemorate the passing. The team then went on to defeat their opponents 920-30.

The Holyhead Harpies have a very close bond between one player to the next, but in 1998, that bond was breached by one of their nearest and dearest, Wilda Griffiths. She was paid 1000 galleons to defect from the Holyhead Harpies to their arch-nemesis, Puddlemere United. When she accepted the offer, her friends were shaken to the core and saw her move despite as the ultimate betrayal. They refused to talk to her despite her valiant attempts to salvage their friendships. Their hatred for the other team intensified greatly, making every victory sweeter, and every defeat more bitter. Her replacement, Valmai Morgan, noted in an interview that the moment they won the 2000 World Cup against Puddlemere, her captain's first move was to walk over and splash her goblet in Wilda's face, before turning away and laughing.

With all this talk of modern day Quidditch, I just had to add in some tidbits from the past. The Holyhead Harpies were the second Quidditch team established in their division and the first all-female team. In 1953, the team played what is often described as the finest game of Quidditch ever played. It was played against the Heidelberg Harriers and lasted seven whole days until the Harpies finally snatched the win. In a stunning culmination, the captain of the Harriers, Rudolph Brand, proposed to his opposing captain, Gwendolyn Morgan, who promptly wounded his pride (and nose), by smacking him firmly in the face with her broom.

I hope this article has been informative, educational, and above all enjoyable to read. While the Harpies may not be my favourite team, this article was still fun to write, and I believe that you will share my sentiments. Signing off, GinnyQuaffle1.

ASK US!
By Thundercat123

Im afraid of dogs that my boyfriend has one. How do I deal with it? Every time I go to his house, I cant enjoy myself because Im too busy monitoring how close the dog gets to me. I dont want to lose my boyfriend but I just cant take his dog!
~ Not My Best Friend


Dear Not My Best Friend,
Yikes! That sounds awful. Have you told your boyfriend youre afraid of dogs? Honest and open communication is always the best thing for relationships. Maybe he could put his dog in a different room while youre over? If you are really afraid of dogs and lack the capacity or desire to overcome that phobia, a dog lover might not be the best mate for you. Be honest with him and be honest with yourself!



My friend is moving away, really far away! Like to a whole different state. Do you think we can still be friends? Will she forget about me? Who will I eat lunch with now?
~ About To Be Lonely


Dear About To Be Lonely,
Friends moving away is always hard, but it does not always mean the end of a friendship! Will that friendship change? Of course. But you can still be good friends. It just requires a bit more effort. Phone calls, texting, fFacebook, Snapchat, and other social media apps help friends stay friends even from far away. If you are younger and your parents dont let you have social media or your own phone, ask to have time to use their phone to call your friend. Heck, even writing letters is still a valid way to maintain a friendship across state lines! Dont give up on a friend just because you dont see each other as often. As for who you will eat lunch with now, make new friends as well. You are allowed to have more than one. Making friends can be hard but there is someone out there who would love to eat lunch with you, you just have to find them.



This school semester is kicking my butt! How do you stay organised and use time efficiently? How do you time manage? How do you adult?!
~ I Graduate In Two Months


Dear IGITM,
Hey there pal. Just do some quick breathing exercises. Relax. Okay. There seemed to be some loaded questions in there but Ill try and tackle the time management and planning thing for you. The cop-out answer is that it is different for everybody. You really have to try out different ways until you find a way that works for you. Some people use their phone calendars for big things they need to remember. Some people use a written planner. And people who use a written planner have varying degrees of how much of their day they write out. Some people make lists of things to be done and just check things off as they finish. Some people use the Pomodoro Technique with a timer and breaks built in for them (Google it for more info). Try any and every way you can think of and use the one which you will actually use! As for adulting, that is a life long journey Im not sure anyone really finds the answer to.

STARBUST : GRISELDA MARCHBANKS
By Japanthony

Hello, everyone! I'm a new writer for the Daily Prophet, and for this issue, I'm on celebrity watch for this issue!

While she might not be a celebrity everyone knows the name of, Griselda Marchbanks is a name many adults are familiar with, especially those with Ministry connections. Marchbanks is celebrating her 90th birthday this March! (I assume the name and birth month were a happy coincidence?)

Most people know her for the work she does as part of the Wizarding Examinations Authority, creating the O.W.L. and N.E.W.T. exams. However, recently evidence has come to light that she used to be a dancer on the side when she was younger. After some digging, I found that she worked in none other than The Witching Hour, the most popular wizarding nightclub in London! Naturally, I headed down there to see if anyone remembered anything about her.

Alas, I made the mistake of going on a Saturday night, when the nightclub was at its busiest. I saw many a famous face that night, but no one would stop for an interview! I must admit that Kirley Duke - lead guitarist for The Weird Sisters - was particularly rude to me, although that may have been because I spoke to Myron Wagtail before him.

Regardless, I forged on.

After an hour of fruitless attempts at gaining some information, I was invited to talk to the owner of the nightclub, who had heard of my plight from the staff. Due to the owner's wishes, I cannot print the name for privacy reasons, but I can reveal that he is a wizard and a great one at that! He sat me down and was one of the most helpful interviewees I've ever had the pleasure to work with.

He told me that Marchbanks did indeed work there many years ago, and in her prime, she was one of the most popular dancers! I immediately asked if he had any pictures, but sadly they had all been given away or sold many years ago. If anyone out there has one of these photos, be sure to send it in and we'll publish it!

So, my trail at the nightclub ended there. I thought I was finished and began to write this article up at home when I received an owl from Marchbanks herself! She said that the owner of the nightclub had contacted her, and passed on my details. We arranged for me to go and interview her the very next day!

By the time, I arrived at the designated meeting place, I was a little out of breath, having run most of the way to make up time. It felt a little bit rude to be gasping for air in front of a 90-year-old woman, but that's how life goes sometimes! Griselda was extremely kind and told me all about her days as a dancer. She said that it was the best way to earn extra galleons while she was starting out in the ministry and that it only lasted for less than a year. She even showed me a painting someone did at the time:

After getting all of this information, I congratulated her on all her success and wished her a happy 90th birthday. This just goes to show that although some things are lost in history, they can be found if you know where to look you can find almost anything! Griselda Marchbanks is remembered as the woman who creates the exams, but I hope that this helped you to see her in a different light as well.

Never forget that people are not always what they seem, there is always a story hidden inside somewhere...

And where there's a story, there's a journalist waiting to tell it!

HEX REPORT
by Quidditch1001

It's already been a busy month here on HEX and there's so much to keep track of! So, the Daily Prophet's here to help with the latest HEX updates and news.

HINT is Back in Business!
The HINT forum has gone undergone some major changes! Please welcome HINT Enterprises, or the main page for anything HINT related. With this change, it's time to say goodbye to the Books and Film Discussion forums and say hello to the rather catchy Fandom Forum, where you can gush about any of your favourite fandoms! Plus, take a shot for some HP and nice prizes with the new contest Character Cosplay Challenge!

Hungry for Some Arts and Graphics?
This month the A&G forum has presented us with some interesting new challenges! The Writing Challenge is to tell the story of a regular eater(s) at a diner from the perspective of the wait staff. So if you're hungry for a new writing challenge, this might be a fun, but challenging one to fill you up! If you're better at cooking up some eye-catching graphics, pull out your bright, funky colours to design a sign for an 80's themed diner! Getting hungry? Go check them out! Plus, a shout out to the Artwork of the Month winner: Pain! As I write this article, the winners for the writing and graphics challenges for February have not been released, but keep your eyes peeled for the winning work that stole the judges' hearts!

Role Play Undercover
This month is all about secret agents and spies at the RPC. In both the freestyle and regular role play contests you'll be going undercover as a spy. Mysterious and fun, these contests are perfect for those role players that want some action and are feeling sneaky, so go check them out! And, shout out to the winners of February's role play contest: Evan Ebony Jameson, Ebbydb, Camryn Briar, and Shirayuki2290! Congrats!

Contest Forum's Newest Creations
The Contest Forum has two fun, new writing contests! In Luck of the Irish, try your luck for some cool prizes by writing a story where you have to convince a store owner to take the leprechaun gold that you and a friend found before it disappears! Hmmm tricky like a leprechaun! In A Past Rewritten, you must rewrite your personal and family history in a story as you try to escape the Death Eaters. Will life give you a handful of four-leaf clovers or a pile of Sherbert Lemons in these fun contests?

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Are your brain waves pulsing for a new challenge as we relive Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince? If so, you can now ease that pain and get started on the contest Brain Waves! Make Slughorn's head spin by concocting a potion to get the babbling, brainy teacher to spill his secrets. But don't let it get to your head; this contest has some twists, so go check it out!

Site Store Contest Winner!
Finally, after all this time, the site store contest winner has been announced! Naiseymae's EIGHT creative entries included two designs for each house, so there's something for everyone to wear. You can now purchase her creations at the site store! Plus, pop over to the Entrance Hall to see the other wonderful creations of the runner-up: Chelli, Evan Ebony Jameson, Spree953 and Marvinater123, as well as those of the other contestants! Congrats to all the winners and wonderful job to everyone else!

The month of February saw the writers of the Daily Prophet wandering off after being hit by a bout of lovesickness in February's Daily Prophet contest in The Newsstand - Jumble Bumble. Fortunately, a group of helpful Hexians managed to herd the confused writers back to the office in time for the release of this issue of the Prophet. Let's put our hands together to congratulate the following lucky winners who have won themselves 1000 house points each: MariaAna, Red Felix, Miss Padfoot, AiyanaShandley, Adaeze, and Luck.

So, that's it, for now, folks, the HEX round-up! Keep your eyes open for more events, announcements and updates all around HEX, and we'll see you next month for April's HEX Report.

AUNT EDNA'S : PUPPY PROBLEMS
By Dragon_rider2637

Hello there, my darlings! March has come at last, and with it comes the beginning of spring. Ah, spring, with clean smelling air and pastel colours, with joyful giggles and fresh green leaves. Of course, when listing qualities of spring, we cannot forget the baby animals! There are ducklings, bear cubs, and chicks, all of them waddling adorably after their mothers. And then there's the bane of my existence, the dreaded puppies. Beware of the puppies, my dear friends, and your household may remain intact.

At this point, it is a rather well-known fact that I love to give out my advice in lists of tips. These lists are the ultimate expression of the organisation, and as the strongest advocate of running an orderly household, I feel that they represent my goals and ambitions quite well. In light of this overly high level of appreciation for tips, I have compiled a short list of suggestions to keep in mind when there are small dogs inhabiting your household.

First and foremost, remember that just because dogs are man's best friend doesn't mean that they will be a woman's best friend. In fact, it seems to mean quite the opposite. Women, by nature, are not meant to get along well with dogs. The obnoxious little creatures are loud and not to mention messy! While these are all traits that men may enjoy, women do not, will not, and cannot find joy in these characteristics.

Second, puppies are very accident-prone, which often cause massive amounts of the mess that requires clean-up. If you aren't careful to keep a close eye on them, they can - and will! - spread everything you own across the floor. This not only causes far too much hassle to get everything back to a presentable state but also a lot of worries and even fear over whether or not each tiny speck of mess was properly cleaned up and disposed of.

Third, the cute appearances of the little monsters belie the true colours of their souls. Though these little dogs may act sweet and wag their tails cheerfully, be always vigilant around the little buggers! You never know what they may do - or worse yet, what messes they might make! An ulterior motive is always worse than an overt one, in my opinion, the mention of a dog leaves me trembling in terror.

Fourth, if you have the misfortune of coming across one of these horrid puppies, never let it leave your sight! As I always say, a watched dog is a good dog. And if it does happen to make a mess out of your impeccably clean living space, you will be right there to fix the problem before things get out of hand.

Last, I would like to point out that if you know of any households that have puppy problems, you have the obligation - nay, the duty! - to share these suggestions with them. You can make a difference between an immaculate home and a messy house for those poor puppy-ridden folks. That's one thing I have in common with all of the wonderful people around you: we both appreciate cleaning tips more than anything else!

This brings me to the end of my dog rant. I bid you farewell, my darlings, until next time. May your homes be ever spotless and puppy-free until we are fortunate enough to meet again!

FROM THE KITCHEN : CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES
By Lalala99

Chocolate chip cookies are a classic dish, loved by Wizarding families across the globe. They have been a staple for decades, and are loved by all, and the fact quick and easy to make has helped earn the treat it's status.

Some people struggle, though, with baking, even with this simple treat. So, for those who have tried and failed comes a strategy to made your chocolate chip cookies delicious!

First, find a recipe for chocolate chip cookies that you like. There are variations of the recipe available to accommodate dietary restrictions. Luckily, this little trick works if there aren't magical components to the recipe. Here is a recipe created by the wonderful Muggles of the Internet:

Ingredients:
- 1 cup butter, softened
- 1 cup white sugar
- 1 cup packed brown sugar
- 2 eggs
- 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
- 3 cups all-purpose flour
- 1 teaspoon baking soda
- 2 teaspoons hot water
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips
- 1 cup chopped walnuts

Directions:
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
  2. Cream together the butter, white sugar, and brown sugar until smooth. Beat in the eggs one at a time, then stir in the vanilla. Dissolve baking soda in hot water. Add to batter along with salt. Stir in flour, chocolate chips, and nuts. Drop by large spoonfuls onto ungreased pans.
  3. Bake for about 10 minutes in the preheated oven, or until edges are nicely browned.

Now for the trick that makes it pop, for culinarily challenged witches and wizards everywhere. Even the worst chef's cookies will come out delicious, and opportunities for bake-offs, bake sales, and general baking will abound.

Take a unicorn hair from your potions supply, put it in water, and boil it. Sprinkle this water on the cookies before baking them. This will dull the magical properties of the hair, so it will no longer be suitable for potions, but it can be used for one or two more batches of cookies. Also, note that this only works if the recipe does not contain magical ingredients that would conflict with or affect the properties of the unicorn hair unless you are using the cookies as a disguise for a potion. But if only the unicorn hair is used, the only side effect will be pure deliciousness. I personally promise you that this will make your cookies one thousand million times better.

Now go forth and bake the best chocolate chip cookies ever to grace the world, and good luck!

ON THE STREETS : SAYINGS ABOUT SPRING
By Char

Hello, everybody! It's me, once more. This month, we didn't really have a theme to our articles, so with a suggestion from Rosie, I've decided to ask some users about spring! Is it a season they like? Is it a season they don't really like? Do they prefer any other seasons? If they like spring, why is it so? I think the question opens doors for a lot of opinions about the season, and it helps us understand what each user prefers or thinks about it!

For reference, this was my question, "With spring just around the corner, what do you feel about it? Do you enjoy spring? Do you hate it? Which season do you prefer?"

We got a lot of replies this time around, and here they are!

My favourite season has to be summer. With my circulation issues, I find it much better when the weather is warmer. Although I had a spring wedding (1st April) so I suppose it's not all bad.
~ AccioNox, Gryffindor


I love spring. In fact, where I live, the weather is warming up already! I have to say I prefer summer, though. Swimming, camp and hanging out with friends are more for me. But spring is awesome, too. I love all the seasons, really!
~ Ihatemalfoy34, Gryffindor


I love watching everything bloom in the springtime. The only problem is all of these new blooms play havoc with my allergies. I groan every time I clean the yellow pollen off of surfaces. I prefer autumn as the weather is getting cooler and I love watching the leaves turn colours.
~ Alyssa Whitten, Hufflepuff


I absolutely love spring! It gets warmer so I can spend more time outside and wear dresses more. It stays lighter out, so I can go horseback riding after work more. My favourite season in summer, but spring is definitely a close second.
~ Terrylyn, Hufflepuff


I love spring, seeing the new buds on the trees starting to sprout and the flowers coming through the dirt like "ok Its time, here I am" The only thing about spring that I don't like are the thunderstorms that come along with it but that is it. I love seeing after the winter clean up how fresh and new the lawn and flower beds look.
~ Kboop374, Hufflepuff


I love spring, well one of my favourites is flower starting to bloom but the air is still a little chilly.But I prefer winter or fall, winter is the best since I really like to cuddle with Alfred (my Teddy). And a lot of events happen in winter and fall. So that.
~ Atheeena_, Slytherin


I generally enjoy spring; the weather is more temperate and the flowers are gorgeous. Unfortunately, it does also mean I need to renew my prescription for my allergy medication. I am in the southern hemisphere, so I am going into autumn now.
~ Georgy77, Gryffindor


I don't really like spring. I don't hate it, but I don't love it either. I'm more of a fall person.
~ CreepypastaLover, Slytherin


It's summer here in Singapore, all year 'round! I would love to have any other season here, truth be told... I suppose my family does celebrate the spring Festival annually though it's more commonly known as Lunar New Year to most people. You can check out the festival details here. I'll certainly enjoy winter over spring if I had the prowess to change the season. There is simply something magical about blankets of snow, drawing me in. However, I do appreciate the wonderful scenery in spring with flowers blooming and little critters coming out to play!
~ Leah Macmillan, Ravenclaw


I like spring because it's wonderful to see flowers blossoming and there's not a very hot temperature yet. However, spring isn't my favourite season. My favourite season is winter, because of the cold temperature. The only downside is that in the place where I live there is no snow...
~ KateMarvoloRiddle, Slytherin


I am super excited for spring, as it's my favourite season! My birthday is in spring, and the weather in my state is just so pretty! The only thing that bothers me is daylight savings. I like my sleep.
~ Andreageiger, Gryffindor


While my preferential season is summer (give me an 85-degree day all year long), Spring, where I live, means less rain and more outdoor activities. Spring also means Baseball Season and the start of Track is just around the corner. I love going to my kids activities but it's more difficult in the Winter when it's raining and cold (or snowing which it has been here recently). I look forward to being able to sit outside without my umbrella and watch my kids compete in their best events.
~ Ivy Carrow, Slytherin


And there you have it! It looks like our readers generally like spring, but some others prefer summer or the other seasons instead! How about you, dear reader? What do YOU think about spring? Is it something you enjoy or not? I'd love to hear what you think!

DAILY PROPHET STAFF

EDITOR
Rosie_may

ASSISTANT EDITOR
Snowleetah

WRITERS
Cassandra Lovegood
Char
Desiree Snow
Dragon_rider2637
GinnyQuaffle1
Japanthony
Lalala99
Quidditch1001
Seza Silverwolf
Thundercat123

CODED BY
Snowleetah
Rachel McAdams



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