The Daily Prophet - December 2011

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas here on Hex. Just take a stroll through Diagon Alley and you'll see that the multitude of chat threads that had taken up residence have all been pushed aside in favor of that most wonderful time of year: proving how much richer you are in fake, pixelized money by buying items for your friends that cost way, WAY too much. Let's face the facts here, folks: you would NEVER pay 200,000 galleons for that weird sparkly thing any other time of year. But OMIGOD your bff just HAD to have it! She was going to DIE without it. And by George you were going to buy it for her first to prove your worthiness for her friendship, right?

I'm not saying I'm not guilty of the same exact flaws, dear readers. Just today I overpaid by about 30,000 for something because it was on my best friend's wishlist and OMIGOD SHE NEEDED IT RIGHT THEN AND THERE. But let's be honest with ourselves here. Are we really buying these presents out of the goodness of our pure little hearts or is there something more sinister going on here?

As many of you know, I prance around in the muggle world under the disguise of being a helpful member of a leadership team at an electronics store. I've seen the evils of Christmas happen in real time. And let me tell you one thing – there is no such thing as a free lunch (or Black Family Locket, to put it in hex terms). Each person you've given something to expects this to happen! Just like you expect that in return they give you their unwavering loyalty for the next twelve months until next Christmas comes around and its panic season all over again. Gifts are directly proportional to love, you know. So naturally, the more expensive the item is the more you expect from that other person, right? Right.

Think about it. When was the last time you were in a fight with someone and they gave you a gift and all was forgotten? I'm going to bet one of two dates: your birthday or last Christmas. Am I right? Of course I am. It's a natural reaction for people nowadays: whine, mope, and be angry until you get something shiny and distracting and then everything is right in your world again, and of course the person who gave you that glorious, glorious thing is THE BEST EVER.

Let this be a lesson to you, my dears. Unless that person happens to be the mother of your virtual niece and nephew giving you those gifts, BE WARY. They most likely want something from you. Always take your gifts with a grain of salt and expect there to be some heavy-duty, industrial-strength strings attached. CONSTANT GIFTING VIGILANCE, PEOPLE. And, of course, any gifts you're unsure of can be sent directly to me. I'll fix your little debt problem for you.