Quidditch? Pfft, Spinach.
Written by Anacrusis Cadence
Many of you are now aware of my distaste with this "sport" we call Quidditch. It is the most disgusting and ridiculous of sports that such a noble race could ever reduce themselves to. What kind of sick witch or wizard do you have to be to enjoy chasing after ridiculous objects in the air? It'd be a much more entertaining sport if we just trained monkeys to play the game instead, and then dressed them up in suits made out of industrial strength steel spikes so that when they flew into each other there'd actually be something to cheer about. That is why, Slytherin have began planning their own House League of Quidditch because to be honest, there's just not enough blood flying around when they play the other houses. I had a chance encounter with one Slytherin who went by the alias "Anacrusis" when we both stumbled across each other setting up traps to catch unsuspecting Hufflepuff's for a midnight snack. She informed me, after a long string of inappropriate curses and much flailing because she had almost caught the Hufflefluff known as Issaness for her dinner, that Slytherin was fed up with playing the other houses [because as explained before, not enough blood, there is a theory that all Pureblood families are infected with werewolf genes, but this reporter values their life] and was therefore setting up their own league. Your reporter didn't stay for much longer because they did indeed fear for their lives in case this Anacrusis fellow, or whatever the female version of fellow is, decided to eat me instead. However, I must conclude that although watching Slytherin's try and kill each other in the air is far more entertaining than what we normally see in Quidditch, I'd still rather pour some acid into a bowl of spinach and through it at a passing house elf. Much more pleasure from that.
A Broom's Eye View
Written by Aiden JakorrI recently sat down with one of the players from the Slytherin Quidditch team to ask them a few questions about what it was like to be a new member playing Quidditch on Hex. Rigel Decorus, First Year, has only been playing for a very short time. We didn't really want to ask her for the interview, as we've heard rumors that she's a Mudbl...Muggleborn, but we were short on time, and she was the only one really available. The conversation is below.
The Daily Prophet:
How has your overall experience been so far?
Rigel Decorus:
It's been good. I sort of wish we had finished our game with Gryffindor though. It was pretty fun while it lasted. I've been on other RPGs and we never actually got around to playing games because of logistical things, so it was nice to actually get some play time in.
The Daily Prophet:
How do you feel about the Quidditch system on Hex?
Rigel Decorus:
Well, I thought it was slightly complicated at first, but generally it seems to work pretty well, It's a good combination of both RPing ability, which is important, timeliness of posts, and luck. Since it has so many elements, it takes a lot of ability to win. And since clearly the other houses are disabled by not being Slytherins, we always win. *nods*
The Daily Prophet:
Is it hard to work with the Slytherins?
Rigel Decorus:
Yes. You're all big fat meanies. Especially one user called Aiden Jakorr.
(After strangula...A quick discussion, she corrected herself)
Rigel Decorus:
Truthfully, not really. I was really new when they asked me on the team, so I was slightly erm, let's not use the word scared, even though that may be appropriate. Let's say, wary. Yes. I was wary. But, I being a Slytherin myself, didn't find it terribly difficult after I figured out who everyone was and just how much of failures they all are. Lovable failures, definitely.
The Daily Prophet:
What about working with the Mind Twins?
Rigel Decorus:
I was slightly...worried about their mental sanity for the first few weeks. But, I have since learned that yes, they are indeed insane and perfectly content with their insanity. Especially Ana, who is Butch and Unprime. The Mind Twins are currently plotting to take certain possessions of mine, WHICH THEY WILL NEVER GET. *cough*
The Daily Prophet:
What do you think about the brooms? Is it too difficult to own a good broom?
Rigel Decorus:
Wellllll, I got a Nimbus within my first week on the site, since I'm awesome like that. And no, you can't have it. It's mine. I think it shows dedication, getting a broom, even if it has gotten a tad insane to get the best brooms ala the recent Firebolt SA madness. Basically, if you're on the Quidditch team, you should be a good enough RPer to win a few contests and buy yourself a Nimbus.
The Daily Prophet:
Do you think that the System is realistic?
Rigel Decorus:
Well, there are some flaws, but that can only be expected. You need to have realistic rules, but if they border on too realistic, they get too complicated. There are some improvements that I think might help if they were made, such as the health point system - I think getting hit with a Bludger should reduce more health points. Also, you can shoot goals from anywhere in the field, which is sort of not realistic. I remember this one marvelous, amazing, completely awesome player, Aiden Jakorr, yes, that was his name, who was a Keeper. And he scored a goal. I thought while awe-inspiring, it was erm, Sueish. *cough*
The Daily Prophet:
Do you watch the other team's games at all?
Rigel Decorus:
Erm, of course I do. Totally. Every single post.
The Daily Prophet:
That brings us to our last question. What are your favorite Quidditch moments as of today?
Rigel Decorus:
Erm, I enjoyed hitting people with Bludgers. And watching as Slytherin's victory became increasing apparent. Not that it wasn't from the beginning. And who can forget Chase's goal? Epic. Seriously.
Rigel Decorus:
Annnnd, you should write an intro about how awesome I am.
The Daily Prophet:
Hahahahaha....No.